“You want to know WHAT!” bellowed Brad. He was more than surprised at the question. Of all the questions Milly had asked nothing, absolutely nothing had prepared him for this particular question.
“You don’t have to bellow like you’re some sort of wounded animal. Teenage boys do it a lot and I was just wondering if the man I’m engaged to still…you know what I’m talking about…help me out here hon”
“Sorry about the volume. You really caught me by surprise. It’s a good thing I’m not driving or I probably would have driven up a tree. I just want to make sure I heard you correctly?”
Milly looked really nervous. Her eyes darted between the road, the dashboard, and the steering wheel. All of a sudden she started talking very quietly.
“Jeez Brad, it’s really a simple question. Did you masturbate when you were a teen, and do you still…do it.”
“We’re the only ones in this car unless we have a trunk full of gnomes I don’t know anything about. So I don’t understand why you’re talking so quietly.”
“Sorry, hon. I didn’t mean to ambush you. It’s just I want to know everything about you. And when I say everything I mean everything with a capital “E”.”
Brad turned to Milly and looked right at the side of her head. “The answer to your question is yes and yes.”
Milly pulled the car off the road and came to full stop.
“You have no idea what asking that question took out of me. I was afraid you’d go into a rage or something. Something I’ve never seen you do. Like, turn into the Incredible Hulk or something. I just want to know why you do it and what it feels like.”
Suddenly a great silence descended. A silence so heavy it was crushing. Milly reached out and gently turned Brads head. She looked right into his eyes. “I’m not judging you. I love you. I just want to know as much as I can about the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
Brad sighed heavily and looked at Milly.
“Remember you told me you had x-rated dreams and “she” got very moist?. Well “he” gets so hard sometimes its really uncomfortable and I simply have to do something about it. If a man has an erection for a long time that’s ticket to the hospital for sure. But getting an erection with some sort of aid like Viagra can lead to an erection that lasts for a few hours can lead to cardiac trouble.”
Milly looked shocked. It was obvious this was more than she ever expected. Milly looked at Brad’s crotch.
“I had no idea getting “him” aroused was so dangerous. I won’t do it again. I promise.” Brad kissed her forehead.
“I’m not in need of any help just yet. Please don’t ever stop kitten. You’re doing it just right. It feels very different when you do it.”
Brad continued where he left off.
“Now this parts a little funny. Most of the time when I have to do something about him I fantasize about you wearing a bikini-”
“But you’ve never seen me in a bikini.”
“That’s why its called a fantasy. You and I are on the beach of this tropical island. You can see “his” outline beneath my bathing suit. You come up to me, we start kissing, you put one hand around my neck and shove your other hand way down the front of my bathing suit. All you say is “I want him” and you fondle “the twins”. You do your best to get my suit off. You try to undo the knot holding them up. You try pulling them down but they go down just far enough that “he” peeks out the top. You take off your bikini and jump into my arms hoping “he’s” out far enough to go into “her”. When you discover “he’s” out only far enough to tease “her”, you jump out of my arms and go into the sea, get a sea shell and use the sharp edge to cut off my suit. You cut into it then rip it off. You hop up, wrap your legs around me, and slide down till “he’s” all the way inside you. I’m holding onto your bum and you reach down and fondle “the twins” till he comes inside you. I’d much rather be in your bathing suit and fondling “her” but in this fantasy, you’re the boss.”
Milly started banging her head against the steering wheel. She rested her head against the steering wheel and slowly turned her head to face Brad. Her expression was a combination of frustration and anxiety.
“You know what you’ve done hon?”
“I could hazard a guess. Does it have anything to do with being a little bit moist?”
“A little bit moist!? This kitten has a friggin’ tsunami raging between her legs. What can we do?”
“We can always try making out in a car. Our parents probably did it,” said Brad
Milly look around the car. “I’m not sure we could get anything meaningful done in here. It’s so small. Besides I want my man to do something to me in a bedroom. It’s more romantic that way. Doing it in a car somehow cheapens the experience. I don’t my man to think I’m cheap or easy.”
“You don’t ever have to worry about me thinking that. Well, I can only think of one other solution. We drive till we find an inn, check in, then go mildly crazy. Until then neither of us talks. I’ll turn on the radio and you drive like hell.”
“But I’ll need your raincoat before I can get out. Things are a little more than damp south of the border if you know what I mean and I’m pretty sure you do. And from now on I’ll only ask questions when we’re checked in some place. No more sex talk in the car!”
Very early the following morning and multiple orgasms later the two lay in bed smiling yet fast asleep. Milly lay on top of Brad when suddenly there was a terrific banging against the wall coupled with the sounds of a woman moaning.
“Good Lord! What’s going on?” asked Milly who shook Brad and asked him to listen.
As Milly listened to the moans, something made her start to giggle. Not wearing any clothing she darted to the bathroom to get a glass. She placed the open end against the wall and her ear against the other end. She listened for just a few seconds. She raised her hand to her mouth when she realized just what it might be. By this time Brad had done the same.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asked Milly.
“Yup. Probably a couple of college kids who just got their grades. If they’re like us they’re letting some sexual tension out…among other things”
“They sound like crazed animals. Do we sound like that hon?”
Before Brad answered he looked at the clock. It 4:45 in the morning.
“The very first time we made love we probably gave our neighbors wonderful excuses for their insomnia. The guy is grunting so much its like he really wants to prove something. What do you think about the woman?”
“I know I shouldn’t say this, but I think the woman is just making just a little too much noise. I know this being catty but I have the feeling she worked her way through school on her back.” Milly looked at Brad and noticed “he” was erect. “Does hearing this turn you on?”
Brad thought before he answered.
“Hearing someone else going at it hot and heavy doesn’t really do anything for me. But hearing it makes me want to do something sexual to you. Does that surprise you kitten?”
“Not really. Aural stimuli were mentioned as one of the things that can get “him” aroused. But what is it you want to do to me?”
Brad put the glass down and got back in bed.
“It doesn’t really matter. I’m all out of condoms.”
“Can you get my purse please hon?”
Brad got out of bed and got Milly her purse. When he handed Milly her purse she reached in and pulled out a small packet of condoms. A packet specifically designed for a woman’s purse. She opened the small packet and with two fingers handed Brad the condom.
“OK, now ‘fess up. What on that mind of yours or should I say “his”” she asked.
“Remember when you were in my apartment and “he” climaxed. And things got a bit too moist and we think “she” may have squirted?”
“Do I! I’ve been hoping you would remember. I want to feel that wondrous feeling again. When do you want to try it?”
“Why not right now? We’re not going to get any sleep with that sexual marathon going on next door. So let’s let them knock boots while we get our jollies. The last one in the shower is a rotten egg.”
Milly charged out bed so fast she was able to push Brad into a chair. As Milly stood in the shower Brad stood in the doorway and held the condom packet in his fingers.
“These aren’t my usual brand kitten”.
“I know. They were all out your brand but the woman behind the counter told me these are lubricated so well it’ll warm up fast. Plus it’ll glow in the dark.”
Brad couldn’t help making a comment
“If “he” goes where I want to “him” to go it’ll be dark.”
Brad got in the shower and stood behind Milly. She turned around, faced Brad and got him even more aroused with her hands. She enjoyed putting the condom on “him”. As the water splashed against their bodies her nipples soon became erect and Brad soon started sucking on them.
Milly put Brad’s face gently between her open hands.
“Why do you like sucking them, babe?”
Brad noticed she didn’t call him hon. This concerned him so much he had to ask her why she had called him babe. The answer was pretty simple.
“Until you give me a baby you’re my baby. A giant economy size baby.” Milly gripped “him”. “And before you ask “he’s” just the perfect size for “her”.
Brad let one arm drop and started stroking “her”. Milly pulled his hand down a little further. Brad now fondled her clit. Milly started breathing faster and faster as her excitement grew. Brad now gave her instructions. “Bend over and spread your legs a bit. Hold on to the shower wall.” When Milly bent over Brad started fondling her vagina. He heard sounds he only heard one other time. When looked down he saw her toes curl. Milly said “Put “him” in hon”. Milly could feel “him” go in and out of her. Things were definitely warming up down there. Brad reach around her waist. He put his hand on her tummy just let her know he was there. Milly now had her hands on the glass shower wall. Brad pushed himself inside of Milly. The excitement suddenly started to build. Milly moved his hand from her tummy to her clit. “Do her now” she asked. The feeling was almost more than she could handle. With Brad inside her and stimulating her clit at the same time things just became too much. She felt the hair on her neck go up. And her scalp went all tingly. All of a sudden she said “oh’” three times and a simply gigantic moan followed. Her legs went all rubbery, Brad slipped out, caught her and she made the unearthly sound she had done only one time before. After a few minutes, Milly recovered.
“Holy Fuzzbucket! That felt so good. But it was so intense too. I could feel you behind me, inside me, and touching my clit. You were all over me and it felt friggin’ wonderful. That goes in our repertoire for sure! It felt a dozen orgasms at the same time.”
“That’s when you really came. And you squirted kitten. Not a lot. But lady you most certainly came.”
Milly noticed that Brad hadn’t come when he was inside her.
“Perfect time to experiment. Remember when you came inside my mouth?”
“What I remember is that it was a wonderful experience for me, but that it wasn’t so wonderful an experience for my kitten. But you did say something about wanting to try again but you never elaborated on that.”
Milly moved behind Brad. “I want to try something right now. First, take a pee in the shower. I want to make sure your bladder is empty.”
Brad let her rip in the shower. “That’s it?”
“Now I clean “him” very gently with the loofah. I going to pull back some skin so he may be extra sensitive.”
Milly moved in front of Brad and sat on the shower floor. She held “him” with her left hand and gently cleaned “him” with grapefruit soap. The water from the shower washed away any remaining urine from “him”. Milly held “him” under the water and washed away any residual urine with the loofah. She lathered up both her hands. She gently massaged the grapefruit soap on “him”, the “twins”, and his skin. Brad mentioned that what she was doing felt wonderful. Brad slowly started to get erect again. Milly started talking to “him”.
“Good. Be a good boy. Keep going up. This is where the fun begins.” she said.
Milly slowly massaged “him”. As “he” became more erect and Milly put her hand around “him”, she moved the skin up and down slowly. The water from the shower head stimulated “him” and he came even more erect. “Now imagine you’re inside me and you’re not wearing a condom. Think about that and put that image in your mind. “He’s” going in and out very quickly. Do you think he’s going to come?. Milly kissed “his” head.
“Oh god is he!” Brad quivered. “Put your mouth on “him” Brad exclaimed.
Milly put her mouth around him. Within seconds she could feel Brad having a massive orgasm inside her mouth. And this time it was far more enjoyable this time for Milly. So enjoyable she threw both her hands in the air to indicate success. Milly let the sperm drip out the corners of her mouth. After she stood up she put her head under the shower head to dilute the sperm in her mouth. She dropped her head and let it drip out of her mouth to the floor of the shower.
“You have no idea how much I wanted “him” inside. I wanted to feel “her” soaked with your sperm hon. I wanted it so very badly.”
Then Brad said something totally unexpected.
“I want to marry you so badly and to be the father of your children. I wanted “him” be inside “her” so badly. I almost wish you had put your finger inside your mouth then put it in “her”.”
“I thought about it hon. But that’s not the way I want to start our family. I want to feel you on top of me. I want to feel “him”, minus the condom, between my legs and all the way inside me. I want to “him” come in me and feel your sperm searching for an egg.” Brad grabbed her and kissed her so passionately that she felt a shiver and her toes curled. He suddenly dropped to his knees and started kissing her tummy while grasping her thighs. She lifted Brad’s head and looked right into his eyes. “I want you to father our children.” Milly then gently pressed the side of Brad’s head into her tummy.
After checking out the following morning Milly and Brad drove through the little town the inn was on the outskirts of. It had all sorts of stores that catered to almost every need. It had stores that sold newspapers from all over the world, Shetland sweaters, family histories, and for the tourist who needs to know how to get a nearby restaurant – maps. Acres of them. Maps of every kind, size, texture etc. But of all the stores Milly was addicted to one type. A lingerie store.
As soon as she spotted it she pulled the car over and parked. Brad saw where she was headed.
“How come I get the feeling this is going to be a very expensive pit stop?” he asked not really expecting an answer.
“Oh stop moaning. This stop is going to be fun as well as educational.” She hooked her arm in Brad’s and almost had to pull him through the doorway.
Brad noticed the name of the store and couldn’t resist making a comment about it. Something he would soon come to regret.
“Nice name. A perfect name for a store in the middle of merry old England – Les Chemise.”
Milly heard the comment and gave him a sideways glance. She walked towards him, gripped his arm, and balled him out as quietly as she could.
“You better start behaving or I’m going to take you back to the car and lock you in.”
It was then Milly noticed Brad was starting to sweat.
“Are you feeling all right hon?”
Brad took a handkerchief out of his pocket and mopped his brow. “Sorry about that kitten but I think I’m having flashbacks about that bikini shop in Bosworth Market and a certain man-hating Amazon. You have taken me so far out of my comfort zone I think I’ m dizzy. I’m in a land of bras, panties, sheer, and see-through garments. Some of the things I think I’d like to see you in, but some of this stuff is downright sleazy. Just what is the point of having crotchless panties?” he said quietly.
Just then the woman who owned the store appeared with a glass of water for Brad.
“Drink up. From the way you’re sweating, I’m going to guess this is your first time in a store of this kind. I’ve been in this business fifteen years and I’ve heard all sorts of excuses from men, but I’ve never seen a man go all to pieces. Lingerie is just a fancy French word for underwear. Men have all sorts of styles and fabrics. So do women. So when it comes shopping for that special woman in your life the safest thing to do is to ask her her bra size and her panty size. If the lingerie is a surprise gift sneak a peek in her underwear drawer and take a look at the tags just in the waistband. And for heaven sake write them down! Women don’t stay the same shape and neither do men.”
Brad had this overwhelming urge to say “Thanks, coach.” Milly slipped a small piece of paper into Brad’s hand. It was her bra size and panty size.
“Quietly tell me what you’d think I’d wear and I’ll tell you if you’re right or wrong.”
“Not bad Schweitzer. I kind of like it.” Brad whispered she might need it for Strathpeffer.
Then he pointed out two other outfits. Milly was not impressed. She looked at Brad and whispered quietly.
“You’ve got be kidding. You were doing so well! I wouldn’t be caught dead in either of those. But I’ll get the nightgown for Strathpeffer. I suspect I’ll…we’ll need it.”