When Brad and Milly arrived at the hall they were still awed by the majesty of Bosworth Hall. But they had more urgent personal needs to attend to. When they checked in they were handed the keys to room sixty-nine. Brad thought the number was somewhat “prophetic”. When they got there Brad put the suitcases on the floor and locked the two doors the two doors behind them He went behind Milly and started to help her off with her coat. After he hung up her coat he returned to the spot behind her and started kissing the nape of her neck. As he was kissing her he slowly and gently unbuttoned her blouse. He then proceeded to take it off her and undo her bra. Milly knew what was about to happen and wanted it to happen faster. She pulled the shirt out of Brad’s pants and pulled it open sending buttons in all directions. Brad slipped her spaghetti straps off her shoulders and let the bra drop to the floor. He pressed Milly to him and started to kiss her passionately. After he undid the top of her jeans he picked her up and placed her on the bed.
“Arch your back Kitten,” asked Brad.
Milly obliged and with one tug her jeans came off. He got on top and started kissing and sucking her breasts. Milly loved what she was feeling. Brad’s skin was smooth to the touch but he had a little patch of chest hair which Milly loved to play with. She took his free hand and put it in her panties. She started purring and making other approving noises. Quickly Brad got out of his jeans and Milly could feel “him” against her mound. “Him, I want him” she whispered. Brad reached for her purse which was on the floor. Milly quickly opened it and pulled out a condom. She pulled Brad’s underwear off. “He” was already erect.
“Such a cooperative boy,” she said appreciatively.
Once the condom was on Milly’s panties came off.
That was three-thirty in the afternoon. The chambermaids were finishing their chores for the day. The two in the hall just opposite Room 69 heard a squeaking sound. It wasn’t long before they tracked down the source of the squeaking and the probable cause.
“This old news. I’ve heard this before. Twelve years ago, just after I started, I heard this very sound coming from the honeymoon suite. That couple was rabid. They went at it for two hours straight. I’ll bet someone was mighty sore the next day. And the sounds I heard. It makes my heart pound just thinking about it.”
A half hour later the two chambermaids were joined by a third.
“There’s another couple going at it on the second floor. The language she uses. I’m just glad my husband doesn’t ask me to talk like that. It’s positively disgusting.”
Another half hour passed.
The Senior chambermaid of the east wing, Mrs. Gallagher, was making her rounds to see that everybody was finished for the day and had put all items they were responsible for away. She zeroed in on the unauthorized gaggle.
“Break it up, ladies. I’m sure that whatever you’re hearing you’ve heard many times before.”
One of the maids turned to her to Mrs. Gallagher to explain the reason for the unauthorized gathering.
“But Mrs. G. I think these two are going break the record. These have been going at it non-stop for an hour. If somebody doesn’t need some ointment in the morning they’re sure going walk funny. She’s got this funny laugh and just keeps sayin’ “More, more, push it all the way”.”
Mrs. G, who had to see a lottery she did not like reached into her purse and produced a British five-pound bank note.
“All right. I’ve five pounds the couple in room 69 don’t last another hour. But if they last more than thirty minutes more I’ll change my bet to twenty pounds. Who’s got a glass? I’ve got to hear how Stanley Stud is breathing. If he’s panting already he won’t last another half hour.”
After listening closely for five minutes Mrs. G. laid her money down.
The betting was a regular event at the Hall. And the event was called the Bosworth Hall Orgasmathon.
An elderly gentleman walked down the hall and couldn’t help but notice this unusual gathering. When he got closer to the maids he knelt down and pretended to tie his shoes. He listened to the maids. Mrs. G. announced that the man’s name was Brad and the woman’s name was Milly. The gentleman was a bit unsettled by this activity. He rose and continued walking down the hall till he reached reception. He checked the sign-in book for the names Brad or Milly. His suspicions were confirmed. Dr. Brad Foster and Milly had signed in and were in room sixty-nine.
“This can’t go on. I’ve got to let them know.” he said in a concerned tone.
He took out his phone and phoned Brad. When Brad and Milly registered Brad supplied his cell phone number. Within a matter of seconds, Brad’s phone rang.
“Don’t answer it, Hon. I’m really enjoying myself” urged Milly who was on top of Brad and was holding on to his buttocks.
“Got to Kitten. Could be a medical emergency. It could also be Fergus.” Milly couldn’t hide her disappointment. Brad looked at the phone. The name Dr. Quentin Jameson appeared at his phone. At first, the name meant nothing then Brad broke into a wide smile.
As soon as there was a connection the Professor started speaking.
“Brad, this Professor Jameson. You saved my life a few weeks ago. Don’t say anything. Put the phone on speakerphone and let Milly hear me.” Brad did as instructed. “There’s a group of maids listening to you and everything you’re doing. To make matters worse they’re taking bets on how long you’ll last. They’re also in adjacent rooms with a glass against the walls. Both rooms. I like to suggest you go to the door, surprise them, and demand all the money. If they don’t relinquish the money say you’ll report them for an invasion of your privacy. What they’re doing is revolting. We’ll talk later. Bye”
Milly was furious. She got off of Brad and slammed her hand flat against the wall. Then she ran into the bathroom and slammed her hand against the wall again. As she charged out the bathroom she put on her robe and opened the two doors that separated the bedroom from the hall. She closed the inside door so they couldn’t see Brad.
She opened the door nearest the hall and confronted the maids.
“Let’s have it. All of it! Give me all the money! If you don’t I’m going to complain about my invasion of privacy! You’ll all be unemployed by dinnertime. Do you really want to take that chance? Don’t forget your next employer will ask why you were dismissed. So hand me all the money.” The maids reluctantly handed over all the money. “How do we know you still won’t complain to management,” they asked. “YOU DON’T.” shouted Milly as she slammed the door and re-entered the bedroom.
“What was that all about Kitten?” Milly sat on the edge of the bed and counted the money. “Those ditzy maids were betting on the both of us to win, place, and show. Those morons were betting seven hundred English pounds on us to last another hour. I told them to give me all the money that was bet or I’d rat on them.” Brad was incensed. “Are you saying somebody was actually betting on me to keep “him” up?” Milly, who was still counting the money, gave Brad an icy glare. “Let’s not forget you had a lot of incentive. I kept you…busy. How many condoms did you use?”. Brad counted the number of torn wrappers on the night table. “Five. Why do you want to know? Milly opened her robe in front of Brad. “I was thinking of taking a shower. Want to join me and continue the second half of the Bosworth Hall Sexcapades?”
As they entered the shower Milly fondled him. Brad put on another of the glow in the dark condoms Milly had purchased. He felt a shiver of pain go up his back. She put her hands against the glass wall and felt Brad put an arm around her waist. What she expected to happen didn’t. Brad didn’t mount her from behind.
“Do you mind terribly if “he” doesn’t go in? He’s a little tender and I don’t want to disappoint you on our wedding night. I can try something else if you want me to try.” Milly asked if “he” was really sore. Brad answered the only way he could. “Remember when your doctor told you to slow down and stop behaving like some sort sex crazed kid?” Milly turned her heard just enough so she could see Brad with one eye. “I remember being told to act like a responsible adult. She said nothing about me behaving like some sort of sex-crazed fiend if that’s what you’re referring to.” Brad could sense a fight brewing and he really wanted to avoid it if possible. “This was just after we made love for the first time. You said “she” was a little tender. And when you told me about it a few days later I told you that “he” was a little sore too.” Milly was quiet for a few seconds and remembered her doctor admonishing her. Milly turned around.
“OK, I do now. Is he really sore?” she said concerned for the man who would soon be her husband.
“It’s not unbearable yet. I really want to please my kitten on her wedding night. But if we continue this particular groom will be out of commission. And I want to be able to give my kitten a very special gift.” Milly turned a little red. “I’ve got a confession. “She” is too. I think we better start being more honest with each other when it comes to sex. But you can still use your fingers.” Brad looked like he was thinking. “That wouldn’t be fair to you. It may sound OK now but what if it makes you want more. You told me to be ready to “deliver the goods.” Right now I can’t.” Brad looked dejected and upset he couldn’t perform when he wanted to. Milly wanted to get his mind off anything to do with sex. She moved closer to him, put her index finger under Brad’s chin and lifted his head. “Why don’t we have an old fashioned shower. But before you start putting soap on me will you please, please, please tell who this Professor is. Every time I’ve asked you in the past something always happens and you forget. And it’s really getting on my nerves. Since I’m about to be your wife, I should know the people you know and they should know me. In other words Brad Foster you’ve been cornered. You can’t scurry away. You can’t forget. Who’s this Professor?”
Brad reminded her that when they arrived at Bosworth Hall the very first time that someone was choking on nuts.
“You mean that was the professor?”
“Was that kind old gentleman who said “Well played Milly” was that the Professor too?”
“It sure was. His full name is Dr. Quentin Jameson. He was a professor of neurology. He and his late wife, Annie, had planned to come here together but she got cancer and passed away before they could. He’s very selective about who he calls a friend. He tries to find out as much as he can before he calls anyone a friend. He calls it “collecting people”. I found him to be an incredibly wise person. Remember this was hours after you threw me out of the shower.”
“Don’t remind me. I still feel like an ass for doing that,” said Milly. Brad continued.
“Well, I told him about you and me -“
“You didn’t say anything about the shower incident?” asked a concerned Milly.
“Give me a break. I’m not going to go up to a total stranger and tell them my fiancé just threw me out of the shower kitten. Jeepers. I’m not a nit.”
“All right already. Holy cow you’re touchy. I apologize for asking. Sheesh.”
“Well after talking all about you the Professor said you sounded like “my Annie”. He always referred to his late wife as “my Annie”. Whenever he talked about you he always said “your Milly” to me. He also wants to meet you.”
“After what he did for us today I think we should take him to dinner. What do you think hon?”
“I think it’s a great idea. And if we like what we hear at dinner we should invite him to the wedding,” suggested Brad.
Milly put her left hand on her hip and wagged her finger at Brad. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you really wanted a large wedding.”
“Not true kitten. This is going to be a new country for both of us. I just want to invite people who are important to us.”
“Makes sense. Now pass the soap. Do you want to soap “her” up or shall I?” asked Milly.
“Don’t take this wrong the wrong way. I think you should do the honors. I don’t want to do something and get your motor running while mine is in neutral. I think we both need to idle till our wedding night.”
After tracking down the Professor in the library Milly kissed him on the cheek then asked him to please come to dinner. The Professor was surprised and taken aback.
“I bed your pardon young lady! I’m not in the habit of being seduced and asked to dinner by beautiful women I don’t know.” Brad heard the kerfuffle, walked over, and stood beside Milly.
“Relax Professor Jameson. This my Milly who will be my wife in just two days. We just want to thank you by taking you to dinner to thank you for what you did.” said Brad
The professor had to sit down and wipe the sweat off his brow.
“Brad, I am very glad you made your appearance when you did. I thought this vision of loveliness was about to have her way with me. So this is the beautiful Milly I’ve heard so much about.” The Professor put his hand on Milly’s knee. “Just between you and me my dear this young man of yours is a bit of chatterbox. All he could do is talk about you. I think it’s rather safe to say he’s rather besotted with you.” The Professor sat on a leather couch with Milly beside him. He winked a mischievous wink at Brad who was standing beside the couch. Milly hugged the Professor’s arm tightly. “I’d be careful my dear. My warranty expired long, long ago.” added Professor Jameson. Milly looked up at Brad. “Can I ask him, Hon? I know it was your idea but he’s just so cuddly I could eat him up.” Brad chuckled a bit. “Go for it, Kitten.” Milly turned toward the Professor. “Brad and I are getting married in two days up in Strathpeffer. We love it if you could come. Please say yes.” The Professor tried to decline as diplomatically as he could. Then Milly employed the dirtiest trick she could: her eyes. She looked into his eyes with two gorgeous watery eyes. “Please say yes.” Milly batted her eyes a few times. That did the trick. The Professor cleared his throat before giving his reply. “My Annie used to bat her eyes just like you. She knew that was my Achilles heel. I feel very lucky to be asked to a wedding and a dinner by such a beautiful woman.” Milly smiled a very wide smile and hugged the Professor then spoke directly to the Professor. “I think it’s fair to say that you, dear Professor Jameson, have been collected” laughed Milly. “I see young Brad told you about that.” The three walked towards the bar. Brad ordered one sherry for the Professor, one Ricochet beer for himself, and a mineral water for Milly. As they sat down at a table Brad distributed the drinks. Brad asked the Professor how knew they were there at the Hall. The Professor grabbed his lapels “This broken down Professor is now gainfully employed here at the hall. It seems I’m a bit of a detective now. The Americans had a rather derogatory term for it long ago. I’m the official house dick. And I have you young Brad to thank. If you hadn’t asked me what I thought of retirement I wouldn’t have this position. Brad was puzzled how he helped. “While you and I were talking the manager was walking by. He offered me this position. There’s no remuneration but there is free room and board. After my Annie died I needed to downsize desperately. I sold the house we had for forty-five years just last week. Now about you two. I was walking down the outside your room.” Milly started going red knowing she had been loud enough to be heard in the hall. The Professor noticed this and patted her hand. “Now, Now. No need for that. We’re all adults and we all do it.” Milly continued to blush. The Professor quietly directed his next comment directly at Milly. “If it makes you feel any better my wonderful Annie and I was told to lower the volume during a trip to Niagara Falls. Not asked…told, so you and Brad aren’t the only ones raising the roof.” Milly leaned towards the Professor and started speaking softly. “Brad and I plan to come back in a few days for our honeymoon so there might be a repeat performance.” He started speaking softly and patted her hand again. “I’m glad you told me. And I’m glad you feel you can confide in me. If anyone complains I’ll text Brads phone saying the airport just called saying they can’t hear their planes. I shouldn’t be telling you this but when they renovated the hall a few years back they put extra sound proofing insulation in the bridal suite. So to quote that wonderful Beatles tune Act Naturally.” Milly got out of her seat, hugged and kissed the Professor a third time. “Thank you for saying what you just did. Somehow you know just what to say. I feel much better now.” Now the Professor started to blush. “Goodness me. I haven’t had this much attention from a beautiful young woman in quite some time.” Brad wanted to know where to pick him up. “I’m not supposed to tell you my room. Besides they move me each week. I’m living out of a suitcase now. How about I pick you up at 7:30 this evening. I better resume my prowling or I’ll soon myself out on the street”.
Brad and Milly had dinner with the Professor and thoroughly enjoyed the evening. As they were walking down the hall towards their room Milly asked about Brad and his other half. “How is “he” feeling Hon?” asked Milly with genuine concern in her voice.
“I brought that little purple number you picked out in the lingerie store.”
Brad thought about his answer before he said anything. “I don’t think anything will happen tonight even with the colorful encouragement. But I’ll know more when I see you in it.”
When they got to their room Milly went over to her suitcase and got it out.
“I’m going into the bathroom to change. I want to make a dramatic entrance.”
Brad stripped down and climbed gingerly into the lower half of his PJ’s. The lock on the bathroom door clicked and Milly walked out as seductively as she could.
“Do you approve? Does “he” approve of what I’m wearing, or should I say I’m barely wearing?”
Milly looked down the front of Brads PJ’s.
“Ouch. That looks nasty. The poor babies down.”
The irritation had grown into a full-blown rash.
“I’m going down to the pharmacy to see if they have some sort of ointment for this. If I didn’t know better I’d say it’s an allergic reaction.”
Brad went to the pharmacy. Milly tried to read an issue of Cosmo but it wasn’t working. She was worried about Brad. After only twenty minutes Brad returned. And he put a paper bag on the night table.
“That’s just great. I’m allergic to latex.”
Milly the magazine fall in her lap. “You’ve got to be kidding!”
“You could be affected as well, Kitten. Some “foreign substance” got into the latex and there’s a recall. I have to put this calamine all over him. Even “the twins” too. You get off easier. You have to drink as much apple juice as often as you can. Your urine coupled with the acid in the juice should kill the bacteria tonight. So that rules out me going down on “her” too.”
Milly crossed her arms and started to pout.
“And you’ll get a giggle out this. I’m to try and make sure he doesn’t get excited. That’s not gonna be very easy with the worlds sexiest, most voluptuous woman in the sexiest outfit I’ve ever seen her in.”
Milly was mystified. Brad had seen her nude and that was sexy as she could get. Or so she thought.
“I don’t understand something. You’ve seen me in my birthday suit and you’re saying this purple nightie is sexier than me au natural?”
Brad sat in a chair as he dropped his PJ’s and began painting everyone south of the border.
“Let me see if I can explain this without getting killed. Because if I screw this up you’re going to want to kill me. For a lot of people, myself included, sexy is a state of mine. You might buy something and think it’s sexy as hell and will drive me wild. But when I see it I might think its pretty ho-hum. A lot of the time when I see you in something that I find sexy it’s because I have to imagine what’s behind that piece of clothing. Take those sexy panties. They’re a solid color. They aren’t sheer or see-thru. Even though I know “she’s” under the panties I have to use my imagination to see “her”. A lot of time, not all the time, when I find something sexy it’s because I have to imagine what’s behind the fabric. Sometimes when I look at your fanny and you’re wearing jeans I have to imagine your panties and then your gorgeous bottom. I like a little mystery. When you’ve looked at my behind was I wearing pants?”
“Now that you mention it you were wearing jeans. The really tight kind. Your behind looked so delicious it was all I could to stop myself from squeezing your buns.”
“You like a little mystery too. I’m finished putting my Calamine on. Time for you to drink up. You’ve got seven bottles to down by morning.”
“Oh great. I know where I’m going to be all night. I’m beginning to wonder if I should get those change of address forms from the post office. Because you’ll know where I’ll be.”
“It’ll over by morning.” Milly threw a throw pillow at Brad.
“Hey! What was that for?” asked Brad.
“I was hoping to pounce tonight.”