Hi, I’m an Interactive Personal Application Device or Ipad for short. Some of you may call a tablet. Some of you call me a “pad”. But some of you insist of you insist on giving me cutesy, but appalling nicknames like “Mergatroyd” or “Apple”. News flash folks. I am not related in any way, shape, or form to that actress who named her kid Apple.
After working with my current owner, I have come to the conclusion you humans are a really messy bunch. You really don’t mind smashing your fingers into my face, and smearing your fingerprints all over my screen. And the only time you clean my screen is when my screen is so dirty, so smeared, everybody on my screen appears to be sprouting horns.
Try looking at from my point of view. I really don’t need to see you picking your nose when you think no ones looking, and I really hate being used as a mirror. Some women put on makeup while they’re going to work. Have a little consideration. Have pity. I don’t want to see “The Bride of the Gorilla” everyday.
When I was first created someone at the factory someone called me an Idiot Proof Assistive Device. Sure, the initials spell Ipad, but do we have to get personal? I am not idiot proof. Not even close. If that was true many of my electronic brothers and sisters would not be in for repairs. Idiot proof. That’s a laugh. If that was really true I wouldn’t get so many updates. But the one thing that really bugs me is getting by batteries recharged. That may seem like a small insignificant little plug to you, but imagine if a plug went into you everyday like clockwork. Your socket would get a little tender too. We Ipads have feelings too.